Amazing grace!  How sweet the sound—
That saved a wretch like me! I once was lost but now am found.  Was blind but now I see. 
Amazing Grace, John Newton (1725-1807) 


This morning I went for my annual doctor’s appointment. I arrived 15 minutes early and sat down for “the wait.” AS I waited the nurse called other names. I actually had to sit up with my jaw open when she called Albert Sweitzer. No way, right? An Albert Sweitzer did get up and shuffle over to the admittance door. Now it is my turn. You know the drill with gowns, blood pressure and the usual questions, so I will spare you the words. I wait some more. Finally my brilliant little doctor comes in the door, politely nods hello and assumes his position at the computer. He spends 20 minutes on the computer intermittently asking pertinent questions.

Then he popped the question. He said, “Do you mess around?”

“What does that mean?”

“Do you have multiple sexual partners?”

“Huh? Actually I am lucky these days if I have one.”

“Then at you do not need a pap smear.”

“If I messed around then I would?”

“Yes, but considering your age, and your sexual practices, you don’t need one.”

“Okay”

“You need a bone density test and a Mammogram.”

“Okay”

I am thinking to myself, is this guy ever going to touch me, listen to my heart, knead my breasts, and bang on my knees.   I guess not. I finally broke down and asked, “Aren’t you even going to touch me?”  So he gets up from his chair and with an ungloved hand, pokes me in the belly.  He asked, “Does that hurt?”

I said, “No.”

“Then you are fine,”

“Huh?” What just happened here? I was asked to come prepared to discuss my past medical history during this appointment. I said, “Doctor, I wanted to discuss a few things with you.”

“I want to discuss a few things with you, too. Now how is your diabetes?

“My what?”

“You have diabetes type 2.”

“I do not.”

“Yes, it says here you are being treated for it.”

‘No I am not.”

“Well, it is here on your medical records. And, also you are being treated for Hepatitis C.”

“No, no stop right here. There are big mistakes here and I think you have someone else’s records mixed into my name. You don’t even know whose records you are reading and those are not mine.”

I began to kind of throw a tantrum, a tirade, and heard an outburst I am unaccustomed to hearing from me.

“Now just a minute, you know we are installing a new computer program where all of the records will be computerized and we do expect some discrepancies.”

“Will you take off those discrepancies immediately?”

“Well, no I can’t, but I will report it to the department that is imputing all of the data.”

“Will I be informed when it is done?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then how will I know that this false information about my medical history and my false illnesses are removed?”

“I don’t know.”

I gave up and left only to call membership services over and over again to have the false data removed. I still do not know if I have been successful. My goodness gracious, me oh my, amazing grace!!

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